Nothing To Prove
There is a wonderful principle I have discovered and now seek to live by, I call it "nothing to prove" and it has set me free to simply be myself in each moment without a bunch of disclaimers, without illusions or masks or games, without hidden agendas or ulterior motives, without comparison and competition. All of this I have left far behind me, I now seek to thrust out forward in love as raw and genuine as possible – Niko – with nothing to prove.
It has set me free in my music. It has set me free in my writing. It has set me free to make mistakes. It has set me free to simply be who I am without always feeling like I have to explain or justify myself. With nothing to prove there's never a need to show anything off nor is there ever a need to put anything extra on! Having "to prove" takes emphasis off of me just being who I am and puts it on me trying to prove who I am. Me being who I am vs. me trying to prove who I am are two very different things. When I catch myself trying to prove something, I always feel selfish, dissatisfied, even captive to something shallow and cheap. But when I seek to simply be who I am, I feel freedom and a free flow, no fear! Let me share a few examples from my own life…
I Am Who I Am – When I'm with someone who is sharing their perspective on something I view differently, I no longer feel like I HAVE to speak up for the purpose of letting them know I disagree. I simply remind myself that I am who I am and that I have nothing to prove and with that I am able to keep my mouth shut. There are certain times when I do speak but there are many more times when wisdom keeps me silent. I once saw silence as a statement of agreement but now I know that is not true. My silence may at times be interpreted as agreement but I will not let such a thing make me feel obligated to speak for I am who I am no matter what another's conclusions are of me, if I never speak again I still am who I am.
Expressions – Nothing to prove has encouraged me countless times while sharing my music in situations where I was limited by things such as poor equipment, time restraints, no back up instruments. I never let those things stop me or make me feel like I had to explain how much better I could sound if. . .I simply sang with what I had to work with at that moment, no self disclaimers, no sound apologies. And while I may have only been able to shine in shades of black and white, there were still unique color combinations in each of those moments. In all that I do, I simply give it my best and with nothing to prove I always find rest. In my writing, Nothing To Prove has set me free to be fresh, funny, unique, expressive, creative, crazy, even risky! I simply seek to be who I am, I set aside all outside expectations and look within myself for how and what to write. I abandon all rules rooted in fear and doubt to be guided by the only rule I seek to live by – Truth. Since I have nothing to prove, I am not seeking to impress anyone and since I am not seeking to impress anyone then my audience just as well be everyone as much as no one. While I sometimes write to man, I never write for man. In writing to man and not for man I eliminate both the pleasure of his approval and the pain of his rejection and find a perfect and complete balance in the tender unfailing arms of my Love.
Silence – Nothing to prove has helped me remain silent in moments when I have been wrongfully judged, terribly misunderstood, and even betrayed. I have sought to be who I am and allow time to reveal truth to those who were open to listen. If one or all choose to believe a lie concerning me, I fear not for it can never change the truth of who I really am. If I am misunderstood, it may challenge me but it shall not change me except possibly teach me to try to be more clear. If I am betrayed I am non the less than more for humbly enduring such a dark deed. Nothing To Prove has kept me silent in the presence of foolish words. I learned such sound wisdom from one of my favorite books – Proverbs. 23:9 Speak not in the ears of a fool: for he will despise the wisdom of thy words. 26:4 Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him.
Free Flow – Living in a FREE FLOW, that's what Nothing To Prove is ALL about! If someone cannot perceive me through my simple daily free flow, I no longer seek to try and prove my gifts, abilities, knowledge, or future. I do not speak of a past success story, a future dream, or an experience that will make them somehow see me or respect me or admire me, no, I seek to flow, for me every moment in life is all about freely flowing, it's about me just being me, always seeking to excel expand grow and progress and just be my unique self in the process. I see myself as water and if someone chooses not to drink of me why shall I seek to wet their lips with planned out "to prove" methods? That gets too complex, I have discovered such beautiful simplicity in the "free flow", it's the only true method for me. I have concluded that: I am who I am, respected or disrespected, understood or misunderstood, embraced or rejected, praised or persecuted, I have nothing to prove. If a person can't see me, I'm not interested in trying to pry their eyes open. Likewise, if I can't see another person, maybe we just need sometime.
Falling To Rise – Free to make mistakes? Ah, yes, nothing to prove has set me free to be the seeker that I am and take risks and make mistakes in the process. Let me say – Not free to be foolish, not free to have no accountability, not free to have no borders or boundaries but, yes, free to fly further than I've ever flown and sometimes crash in the process. I am a man who believes that love is all, undoubtedly yes, but I do not remain in known territory in fear that I might fly too far out and shatter some lovely track record. With pure motives and intentions I boldly set out in search of greater heights, deeper depths, fresh territory! So I float out into new waters sometimes having my ship crashed with waves so ugly and cold but also discovering warm beauty untold! In the scale of it all I am rising, realizing, becoming who I know I am and desire to be – a man after my Love's own heart.
Humility – For me, nothing to prove is about humility. It's about unpriding myself after years of pride programming in a world that primarily revolves on one act of pride after another, a world of selfish systems that survive on what is seemingly so sweet yet clearly destined to choke on its own bitter vomit. It's about me conquering my selfish human nature to claim victory on the battlefield of my mind in the most challenging war I have ever fought – love vs. selfishness – which one will win in every moment is up to me, if I am wise I will fight for what I know is true and let love fly its flag high from the castle of my heart.
Vision – Although I am not presently walking in all of that which I have written, I believe that if I write what I see then I will see what I have written and this gives me the freedom to express as I do. I am a man possessed and obsessed with the future, a man of vision. My vision through faith brings me hope and hope drives me to possess and inhabit what I see! Tomorrow is a comforting assurance today for tomorrow speaks to me of rising when I have fallen today, tomorrow is my best friend today for tomorrow speaks to me of a joyous shout when I am sorrowfully silent today. Tomorrow is my bright hope when today I feel dark despair. I look forward to tomorrow for it is my rescue line of answer when I'm stuck in a moment of question today. While today I may walk in hate I have hope for I've seen that tomorrow holds a love I will run with! Today my heart may pant and bleed but tomorrow it will boldly beat a drum so loud the world will hear!
Tomorrow – It takes hope to believe in tomorrow and tomorrow to have hope for if I have no hope then I have no tomorrow, likewise if I have no tomorrow then I have no hope. And if I need faith and vision to see tomorrow then without faith and vision I am hopeless. "Perfect love casts out all fear" and if fear must be cast out for me to have faith then only perfect love can set me free to believe and hope and see tomorrow! Once again I see that that to understand love is to understand all things. "Tomorrow"? It means many things. You must define it as you see it, but one thing it undoubtedly speaks of to us all is the future, tomorrow is ALL about the future and what it holds. For me, tomorrow is everything from the next 24 hour time span to my vision of the next decade to my eternal existence. What does tomorrow hold that would make me speak as I do? I see much light love and truth. I see hope for the hopeless, freedom for the captive. I see healing for the hurting. I see myself reaching the unreachable and touching the untouchable. I see a reason to live, a reason to give, I see something worth giving all of myself to, that's how important tomorrow is to me! – Niko