Rooster Crow

by Nick Holmes

This is my lowest point…
My past, a stumbling journey of mistakes… my future, a gaping black hole…
Do you know the sound of despair? Have you heard that rooster crow?

I have…

My thoughts writhe inside like snakes ready to bite
Like a thousand pin pricks simultaneously stabbing my mind
Inside me the battle rages, outwardly I am unable to function
Tears are my only companion.

And yet I am aware of their spiteful stares
If looks could kill, they would dispatch me to the place
Where dead men still have nightmares
Why did they ask me that question?

Let them gloat over me no longer
They are no better than me!
They condemn in ignorance of their own hypocrisy.
I know the truly repentant, I know how it sits in the heart…
And yet…

How can I look upon him now that I have played the traitor against him?
I am not worthy to be his slave
And yet where else can I go?
I crave the peace that is found in Him and nowhere and no one else

There is nothing I can do but see what happens next…